Quickie #1

" Friends can find that the sweetest sense of happiness comes from simply being together." 

Friendship

"See that girl up there, the one making adorable faces? That's my best friend, and I love her."

I've realised recently, that I haven't been very true to myself.

I've always thought of myself as mature, I took pride in the fact that I live so differently, that I go through life deeper than anybody else, with more thought and being more... knowing. I thought I was ahead.

But I've come to realize that I am so very very behind.

So now I've made a promise to myself. One that I intend to keep.

From now on, I will be as real as real can be.

I will stop acting like a character from a rather mind-numbing novel. I'll stop planning every single detail, stop overlooking every single thing. I'll leave my fairytale and step into reality.

What better way to be real than to talk about real experiences? Real people?

Real gratitude.

Because today, I would like to talk about one of my friends. I would like to talk about Ilyssa Jace, whom I have nothing but gratitude for.

She's a social little thing, so the fact that she has a blog is unquestionable. You can check her out here. She's got a lot to say, and a certain way of saying it. She's dedicated a blog post to our friendship, and it's time I do the same. :)

The first time I actually acknowledged her, was way back when in Year 3. We had one of those childish connections where we would cling on to each other, cause drama, hate each other, like each other. Repeat cycle.

We were kids.

We were all just kids. What mattered back then was how many friends you had, who watched HSM 3 last night, who had the nicest Hannah Montana merchandise and the prettiest 'Girls' slingbags.

We didn't know it yet, but for some of us, Sekolah Rendah was going to be the worst few years of our lives.

But let's not dwell on that.

...as I was saying, I met Ilyssa in Year 3. Year 4, 5 and 6 was spent disliking her, because it was what everyone else was doing.

She was different. She was according to everyone; crazy, and bossy and spoilt.

But she was ahead. She was one thing we were not in Sekolah Rendah.

She was real.

She knew who she was, and what she wanted. I think she knew the heated whispers in the corners of the classroom were about her, and I think that's why she seemed so defiant. In a sense, you could say she was verbally bullied for being who she was. But that didn't stop her. No matter how many people expressed their dislike for her, she marched on.

I respected her for that.

But I kept my distance.

And yet, somehow, when two people are meant to be friends. They'll become friends.

And that's exactly what happened between us when we were fourteen.

We became friends.

I had grown out of my clingy ways. Somehow, I managed to become my own person, I managed to grow my own skin. But peer pressure pressed down upon me as always. It was suffocating, sometimes I would walk with my head held high, confident. Sometimes, I struggled to act a certain way to impress certain people, constantly insecure.

Ilyssa was at that point where she was almost who she was meant to be. But there was something pulling her back. To me, she seemed confused. She seemed perhaps, as my over-thinking brain would put it, afraid to be free.

We helped each other out.

It started with racist Mexican jokes. Because she is my Mexican and I am hers. We'd laugh at the jokes no one understood; together.

And when she went through that rough patch of hers, I stayed by her side. I walked the across the school field with her, whispering "It's gonna be okay's" and "Don't worry's". I remember hiding behind the bookcases in the library as she let it all out, as she worried about things teenagers worry about.

There were a lot of secrets shared.

And along the way, an unbreakable bond was created.

She became more than a friend as time went on. She was forgiving, she was crazy, she was loving.

One thing she never was, however, was boring.

Because that's who Ilyssa Jace is . She's interesting. She's fun.

But contrary to other people's beliefs, including her own, she was so much more than that.

She has helped me in so many ways. She has imprinted so many unforgettable memories permanently into my mind. She has done so much for me, in so many ways, so many times.

I probably wouldn't have gotten the prefect title if she hadn't pulled me aside from the chaos occuring in our classroom just to calm me down.

She is in all sense of the word, a true friend.

Sometimes, I wish she would let out her emotions more. Sometimes I wish she would shed the 'happy-go-lucky' mask she always wears and answer honestly when I ask her "what's wrong?". Sometimes I wish she would just let me give her the hug she so obviously needs, because she's helped me so many times already, why can't I help her instead?


But then I remember the little girl she once was. I remember that at one time, she probably had multiple walls up at once to protect herself from hurt.

I remember that this girl survived three years in Sekolah Rendah with everyone constantly hating on her.

So I let it go, and I leave her be.

Because you know, sometimes people need to have some time alone.

And sometimes, they need to be with friends.

And when that time comes again, I'll be there for her in shining armor, ready to protect her from whatever harm may come.

Because she is my friend. My stubborn, funny, lovely, beautiful, annoying, pain-in-the-ass, cute friend and I love her.

And I wouldn't change that for the world.